Memories of high school days....

Nearly everyone has wonderful, pleasurable experiences from high school.

Not me.

I was looking through my old yearbooks the other day, when I realized that I have not maintained friendships with people from school. Usually school is where you make lifelong friends and determine your direction in life, and also your status in the social food chain. For example, if you were a nerd in school, chances are you’ll remain a nerd in the real world. That is unless you are among the self-loathing types that construct a reinvention of themselves, in order to fit within the confines of mainstream society.

I like to think that I haven’t reinvented myself, but evolved into the person I was destined to become.

In terms of direction in life, and status in the social pecking order, I learnt NOTHING from the school I attended. I don’t mean to degrade organized religion, but religion was forced down my throat. If I didn’t believe in that religion, I was made to feel guilty.

I never had that problem in primary school, which was also religion-based. We were treated as individuals, not only in the classroom, but as people. Needless to say, until High School, I was open minded in regards to religion.

I learnt direction by having none to begin with. I had never finished high school, was unable to work, and quite miserable. That is, until life gave me the kick up the arse I so desperately needed.

I can’t say that I wanted to be a teacher since I was a child, because when I was a child, I wanted to be either a journalist, or stoned. Possibly both. But in the end, I write for fun, and doing it as a career would be a chore.

Teaching came to me out of the blue. I don’t know why, but some members of my family thought I would be good at it, which planted a seed in my mind. So I went back to finish school, and failed.

My only hope was to aim for mature-age entry into university. Luckily, I did well enough on the test to be offered a place.

I hate it when people remind me of my school days. The other day, my sister told me that two people in the same year as me were getting married. I was polite, and acted interested, but I couldn’t really give a fuck. I don’t want to know what so-and-so is doing, and whether whats-her-name is pregnant. I really don’t care.

Those people have been married, had kids, and made lives for themselves. But it’s their life, and I don’t want any part of it. It’s not like they would have any part of mine, had they been given a choice.

As far as I’m concerned, everyone I went to high school with is dead.

These people had no effect on me at all. They didn’t play any part in who I became. I feel nothing for them. Sure, I don’t wish anyone harm, but I don’t wish them happiness either.

Here’s a warning to anyone I went to school with:

If you see me and say hello, I might say hello back, but don’t EVER expect me to be your friend. My friendship is not on offer.

I don’t need any more friends anyway. I have a few close friends, and that’s the way I want to keep it.

- Fridge.

Nelly: An ambassador for grammar and spelling in schools?

It has come to my attention that Nelly (or whoever writes his ‘songs’) cannot spell.

Some examples:

‘N Dey Sey’

‘Hot In Herre’

‘Ride Wit Me’

And the list goes on. Why do rappers (this includes R & B and hip-hop; it’s all the same anyways) feel the need to spell incorrectly? I mean, this dickhead wears a Band-Aid on his cheek!

Didn’t he release an album called ‘Country Grammar’?

I wish I could become a big rap star, and get away with spelling words incorrectly. In the world of hard rock/metal, you don’t get away with it. When they first became famous, both Korn and Limp Bizkit copped a lot of shit for the way their names were spelt. That’s right, Puddle of Mudd copped it too, but they still cop it because they lick balls.

I write my lyrics on Microsoft Word, after I’ve handwritten them. I recommend that Nelly does the same. He just might see what a tool he is, once he works out how to use the computer.

I have written a Nelly-style rap song; maybe he would like to use it?

I have also included the grammatically correct version.

In The Hizzy

Bitches in da club holla at me,
What up doc? Dey like what dey see.
Want a piece of dis? U know wat u gotta do,
Get on da floor with Big Daddy Schmoove.

Is it me, or iz it hot in herre?
All da playas come get a piece of da action right herre.
Maybe I’m bored wit my peeps and hoes,
But I’m a playa fo’ life, dat’s how it goes.

Fo’ shizzle my bizzle in the hizzy!
Fo’ shizzle my bizzle in the hizzy!
Fo’ shizzle my bizzle in the hizzy!
I gots to get tight wit my bizzles in the hizzy!

Bitches in da club be lookin’ at me,
Somethin’ in dey eyez seys dey likes what dey see.
But I iz a playa, thru and thru,
Want a piece of dis? U know wat u gotta do.

Fo’ shizzle my bizzle in the hizzy!
Fo’ shizzle my bizzle in the hizzy!
Fo’ shizzle my bizzle in the hizzy!
I gots to get tight wit my bizzles in the hizzy!

U know I luv it when u shake dat ass!

Diddy P (in the hizzy!)
Mack Pimp (in the hizzy!)
Fresh G (in the hizzy!)
Detroit (in the hizzy!)
L.A (in the hizzy!)
Compton (in the hizzy!)
N.Y.C (in the hizzy!)
Orlando (in the hizzy!)

I gots to get tight wit my bizzles in the hizzy!

In The General Vicinity

Women in the club appear to be seeking my attention,
I sense that they view me as appealing to the eye.
If you would like to win my heart, we must court first,
May I suggest a dance?

I must say, the room temperature is a tad oppressive in here.
My friends, may I suggest inviting your partners for a dance?
Maybe I’m weary of my associates,
But we have quite a close-knit social circle.

I am in agreement with the ladies in the general vicinity!
I am in agreement with the ladies in the general vicinity!
I am in agreement with the ladies in the general vicinity!
I would like to get acquainted with the ladies in the general vicinity!

Women in the club appear to be looking at me,
I sense that their facial expressions indicate a degree of curiousity.
But I am a bachelor, and maybe it’s time to find the right lady.
If you would like to win my heart, we must court first.

I am in agreement with the ladies in the general area!
I am in agreement with the ladies in the general area!
I am in agreement with the ladies in the general area!
I would like to get acquainted with the ladies in the general area!

My word, you are quite an accomplished dancer!

Interlude: (include names of associates, destinations you have visited, and destinations you would like visit)

I would like to get acquainted with the ladies in the general vicinity!

- Fridge.

Beautiful!

Doesn't this place look beautiful?

In case you were wondering, this is Halls Gap, Victoria. Man, I wouldn't mind looking at this scenery everyday.............

- Fridge.