An international scoop!!

He has to be among one of the world's best-kept secrets. He is a demigod, a Herculean-like figure of his profession. He is one of only two men who has Adelaide's northern suburbs as his playground.

So, who am I talking about?

Let me introduce to you Master V.



Master V (otherwise known as Velvet Jones) is a high-class pimp. Master V and his long-time associate, Slick Willy, are the owners/kingpins of Pimps R Us Enterprises, a locally-based pimping syndicate. For more information, check out http://www.geocities.com/slickvelvet2005/

Fridge: How did you get into pimping?

Master V: Well, it was back in my early high school days, when I met Slick (Willy). We then both discussed a business venture, and things went from there. We now own and run a large metropolitan-based business, with the view of growing nationally.



Fridge: How many people are employed by Pimps R Us Enterprises?

Master V: At this point in time, there are 17 people on the payroll, including three assistant pimps.....and three animals. But we are still recruiting up-and-coming pimps and hoes. Our business offers flexible hours, full health cover including dental, and rewarding work in a safe environment. Resumes needed.

Fridge: Who (or what) are your influences and inspirations?

Master V: Well, that's a hard one. My inspiration would obviously be me. My main influence......would once again be me.

Fridge: What qualities or attributes does one need in order to become a successful pimp or hoe?

Master V: Well, I believe that you are born with a God-given talent. You have to be willing to make sacrifices such as early morning starts (before school) and late nights (after Erotic Tales on SBS).

Fridge: What are the best and worst things about being a pimp?

Master V: Early morning starts, late nights and having so many fine ass hoes wanting a piece of our (Myself and Slick) ass would have to be the worst things. The best things about being a pimp would be summarized in 3 words; Hoes, money, respect.

Fridge: Do you have any advice for up-and-coming pimps or hoes?

Master V: For pimps, don't be afraid to hit a hoe. Pimping comes from within. And make sure you always carry a chapstick.
For the hoes, respect your pimp, and if you're left with less than 13% of your daily takings, seriously consider retirement.



Fridge: Is pimping still relevant in an overtly politically-correct society?

Master V: Geez, that's a tough one. To put it simply, Pimps R Us provide a service. People approach us on the street and they ask us for work! We cater for the unemployed, the disadvantaged, and the downright horny.
As long as there there are men with the name 'Pimps R Us' on their lips, they better not forget to give our hoes tips!

Fridge: Well, Master V, it's been a pleasure to interview you.

Master V: It should be!

And as he walked out the door, he looked over his shoulder and said, 'P.A.E (Pimping Ain't Easy)'.

Diss now, jock later.

- Fridge.

Pre-season blues.............

Hey y'all,

A couple of weeks ago, I started pre-season cricket training. During the first session, one is able to perform poorly without fear of ridicule. It's called 'Dusting off the cobwebs'.

However, in 2 such sessions, the cobwebs remain. Do I give up, or keep going?

I am merely the shadow of a once mediocre bowler..........enough said.

So I volunteered to bat for the first time, as I usually have to be coerced into such an activity.

No such luck there..........as witnessed here.



I can neither bowl nor bat.........I'm having a form crisis!!!!

What does one do when out of sorts, and looking to regain past form?

- Fridge.