Coldplay are arguably one of the most overblown, overrated and pompous bands in music history. And that's not just my opinion, it's a fact.
They are one of those bands that only supposed 'enlightened' people listen to. You know, the types who hang out at art galleries, sipping lame-arse drinks like Beaujolais or Chianti (although wannabes will suffice with Vodka Cruisers), and discuss in length the conceptual merits of Picasso's Analytic Cubism period.
This trite quartet's frontman, Chris Martin, could possibly be the everlasting cure for insomnia. He could also quite possibly be the dictionary definition for douche.
Douche(IPA /du:ʃ/) - I) See Chris Martin.
II) A device used for the rinsing of body,
cavities, especially the vagina. See
I
I could just imagine that guy dry-humping Gwyneth Paltrow while trying to incorporate Noam Chomsky's Generative Grammar theory into Coldplay's next 'piece'.
I bet that France would be home to Coldplay's biggest fanbase, as they are arguably the most 'pansy' nation in the world, closely followed by Italy. The French...with their berets,red and white striped shirts, cigarettes attached to those long cigarette holder thingys, with a crossiant and baguette nearby. Come on, they call Paris the 'City of Love'!!!
In the mid-1990's, the French did test nuclear weapons at Muruoa though. Perhaps it's time for redemption; use your whole 350 weapon arsenal on Coldplay...it might wipe out the world, but it will rid us of Chris Martin and his goons.
- Fridge
