A lesson worth learning.

Hey Y'all,

I hate 'alternative' music these days. But kids today, like the sheep they are, follow the herd, and listen to some abysmal shit. In my honest opinion, the quality of this music is at about the same standard as pop, dance and rap music. In other words, it's worse than rubbing your genitalia with a cheese grater.

Here's Exhibit A: Panic! At The Disco

Do the words 'Boy Band' ring a bell? They all have their hair emo-parted to the same fucking side!

That hideous video for the horribly titled 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies' takes me back to the glory days of 5ive, Backstreet Boys and New Kids on The Block, with the only difference being instruments. Also, what's with the long and stupid song titles? JUST GET TO THE FUCKING POINT!

If this band had a label, I'd call them 'pop-punk for preschoolers'.

Exhibit B: The Veronicas

Come on, as if these two are 'rock'! This is a perfect example of the media's bastardization of rock music.

Their first single, 4Ever blatantly rips off the verses from 'Since U Been Gone', by another popstar/wannabe rocker Kelly Clarkson. Two listens and you'll see what I mean. This kinda shit resembles Bananarama (download Venus, and you'll get it). I'm all for Girl Power, but there's nothing powerful about this trite, unoriginal waste of air time. Quite frankly, I'd rather listen to elderly people eating...

There is no soul in this ugly beast, and it seems like a bit of bandwagoning is taking place right here... Simplicity at it's worst.

If I had to label the Veronicas, I'd call them 'pop-rock for the handicapped'.

Exhibit C: My Chemical Romance
Alright, shoot me. Another boy band posing as a rock band....

Hey kids, here's a tip: if you want to look like the ultimate tool, this is the direction you should take!

Obviously these guys dress each other and moonlight as makeup artists, and the singer looks like an ugly version of Bjork. Their image is highly derivative of the 1980's Goth, with a little of the black metal 'vampire' thing going on. However, they have a little more of an 'edge' to their music, but this isn't nearly edgy enough to claim to be 'punk', 'emo' or 'a rocker'.

If I were to label My Chemical Romance, I'd call them 'rock for kids who don't like rock'.

I think all bands like these should have labels like those on children's toys (eg Ages 3 and up). This would clear some confusion for clueless kids, as well as save them from repeated pummellings by kids from school. That's a nice thought.

If you are to take anything away from this free lesson in life (and music), please think carefully about how you label yourself and the bands you listen to. If you went to any real shows, you'd stand out like a sore thumb, and be open to some harsh treatment. This would not earn you any 'scene points' in a hurry.

Be an individual, don't be something (or someone) if you have no knowledge of how to be it with authenticity.

Until next time,

- Fridge.